Three days til D day. Til l I throw it all in. Bags are packed. Flat is clean. Stuff is moved.
The flat has been cleaned to within an inch of its life. In fact, I've had more of a relationship with my cleaning cloth then people this last week. It's not a bad companion with the exception of its conversational skills.
While the keys get handed back today and I say goodbye to living on my own for however how long, I feel like a proverbial snail, carrying my home on my back. In fact most I'm sure most will avoid me on the road because I look like the woman who lives in her car.
My poor little Festiva is jam packed with an old style 1930's vacuum cleaner, mop handles, doona covers, pillows and boxes and a random chair as well as an assortment of clothes and cleaning products.
So after spending the night on a constantly deflating air mattress at a very generous friend's house, I headed off to work today with '3 days to go' ringing in my ears. Perhaps due to the radio, or the fact I was in a hurry, or perhaps the fact I chose to ignore the transit lane sign I somehow ended up smack bang in front of a traffic policeman. Mistake number 1. I honestly am not the best at sign language so when he thought he was gesturing for me to pull over, I took it to be him saying to keep going.
So when I did he started doing the angry arm dance and told me to stop. It wasn't until I pulled up next to him that he said pull over in the next street that I started to get an inkling then that perhaps this morning might not turn out in my favour. So in a hurry to get it over and done with I zoomed off. Mistake number 2 for the day.
Unfortunately for me and the police officer, I didn't wait for him to get clear of the car and somehow managed to run over his foot in the process of my departure. In my rear view mirror I saw him jumping up and down and yelling. I was torn, do I do what I originally was told to you and park around the corner, or would this be considered leaving the scene of an accident? I stayed put and went to get out and asked if he was ok. He yelled, "You ran over my foot, how do you think I feel? Go park your car now". By this point though, the traffic was now standing still, all staring, all staring AT ME. School kids in cars were sitting with their mouths open, mothers were tsking and there were more than a few smug smirks and laughs being directed my way. They were all thinking the same thing at once "a) typical female driver and b) thank god it isn't me."
I went and cautiously parked the car waiting for the tirade to come. And it came, for a whole 15 minutes before he issued me with a fine for the transit lane violation and after repeated apologies, decided not to proceed with an assaulting police office charge. I suspect this may have been an arrestable offense. Relieved and more than a bit unnerved for this unexpected start to the day I tried to drive off but instead of taking my time, breathing and just taking extra care. I tried to rush away. Mistake number 3.
In my rush I bumped the car which was parked in front of me. Did I say bump? I mean jolted. The other car moved a couple of centimetres. I looked to all the drivers still craning their necks to watch the goings on, the policeman who was back to staring at me and shaking his head and I looked to the car in front. So I got out, went and put my licence details on the parked car then got back in my car and drove off. In the wrong direction.
So by the time I'd got to work I had somehow perfected a traffic violation, assaulted a police officer, hit a parked car, gone in the opposite direction of my work office and somehow got lost in inner surburbia Brisbane and in the middle of it, caused a traffic jam.
Brilliant start to the day if I must say so myself, what better note to end my last week in the rat race on.
x
J
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